Some stress comes from schedules, responsibilities, and problems that need to be solved. And some stress has a name.
People can get under our skin. Someone says something that frustrates us. A coworker makes our job harder. A family member pushes the same button they have pushed for years. Someone disappoints us, misunderstands us, or treats us unfairly.
We cannot always control what other people do. But with God’s help, we can learn to control how we respond. James gives us some of the most practical relationship advice in the Bible: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.”
That sounds simple until someone makes us angry. Our natural tendency is often the exact opposite. We are slow to listen, quick to speak, and quick to become angry. But following Jesus gives us another way. Listen before reacting. Listening does not mean agreeing with everything someone says. It means slowing down long enough to understand before deciding how we will respond.
Then James tells us to be slow to speak. Most of us have said things in moments of frustration that we wished we could take back. Stress speeds us up. Wisdom slows us down. Sometimes one of the most spiritual things you can do in a tense conversation is wait a few seconds before answering.
Ask yourself, “Does what I am about to say help this situation, or am I just trying to win?”
James also tells us to be slow to anger because human anger does not produce God’s righteousness. Anger itself can alert us that something is wrong, but anger makes a terrible leader. When anger takes control, we often say and do things that create more damage than the original problem. So surrender your anger to God before it takes control of you.
And then James gives us one final challenge: do not merely listen to God’s Word. Do what it says. It is easy to know what Scripture says about kindness, forgiveness, patience, and our words. The challenge comes when we have to practice those things with someone who is difficult to love.
Maybe there is someone getting under your skin right now. Before focusing on what they need to change, ask God what He wants to change in you. You may not be able to control what they say. You may not be able to control what they do. But God can transform how you respond so that stress does not determine how you treat people.
People can get under our skin. Someone says something that frustrates us. A coworker makes our job harder. A family member pushes the same button they have pushed for years. Someone disappoints us, misunderstands us, or treats us unfairly.
We cannot always control what other people do. But with God’s help, we can learn to control how we respond. James gives us some of the most practical relationship advice in the Bible: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.”
That sounds simple until someone makes us angry. Our natural tendency is often the exact opposite. We are slow to listen, quick to speak, and quick to become angry. But following Jesus gives us another way. Listen before reacting. Listening does not mean agreeing with everything someone says. It means slowing down long enough to understand before deciding how we will respond.
Then James tells us to be slow to speak. Most of us have said things in moments of frustration that we wished we could take back. Stress speeds us up. Wisdom slows us down. Sometimes one of the most spiritual things you can do in a tense conversation is wait a few seconds before answering.
Ask yourself, “Does what I am about to say help this situation, or am I just trying to win?”
James also tells us to be slow to anger because human anger does not produce God’s righteousness. Anger itself can alert us that something is wrong, but anger makes a terrible leader. When anger takes control, we often say and do things that create more damage than the original problem. So surrender your anger to God before it takes control of you.
And then James gives us one final challenge: do not merely listen to God’s Word. Do what it says. It is easy to know what Scripture says about kindness, forgiveness, patience, and our words. The challenge comes when we have to practice those things with someone who is difficult to love.
Maybe there is someone getting under your skin right now. Before focusing on what they need to change, ask God what He wants to change in you. You may not be able to control what they say. You may not be able to control what they do. But God can transform how you respond so that stress does not determine how you treat people.
Posted in Heart & Mind